The feel
So sweet
The solitude
So deep
It electrifies my brains
Sending sound waves through my brains
Through the muck, fear and fire,
Only joy, it shall remain .
Should I embrace it or battle it?
My longest relationship
Is this love worth fighting for
Or do I love this fight?
Vanquished all,
So I have done.
A lover and a fighter?
Within, both have become one.
To forget
To numb pain
To forget about the pain
that’s been numbed once again.
“I’ve been thinking about you,”
is what I need to hear
From the love of my life
That I hold so close so dear.
I failed as a parent tonight.
I have to let shit slide for the greater good.
I wasn’t a dad. I was a bully.
He has a strong will. I have to be better about persuading him. I don’t want him to develop Daddy issues.
Rough patch
"What a match!"
Avoiding me constantly
Can't shake this, feel like I got a flea
Love my kids
But I hate this home
No control
Constant guilt
Even when I live in filth
Stay and fight
Or turn out the lights
Am I happy
Or faking it
I don't know
When to quit
Nobody listens to me
I can't rely
And I always hear
"I'm sorry for"
I truly feel
She doesn't care about me
And alone is what she wants to be.
No presence during coitus
Just the vibe
"Let's get this over with."
I'm always tired
I can't help it
I can't go to her for emotional support
Drink to forget,
Or forget to drink?
I can’t recall
C’mon, man, think
Which Q came first,
Which Q precedes?
Hold it up, in a cup
Take a sip and think.
Do I love you
Or do I love pain?
The only strife in life
Where tears remain
Have one last sip
And Down I’ll sink
Into my thoughts
All the battles
That I’ve fought
Do I need you in my life,
Or am I stronger without
Like time that lingers on
Filled with sorrow and doubt?
Sippin into darkness,
oh woe, ol boy
Slow descent
Must repent
This love runs deep.
I feel…
Crippled by life
Am I doing wrong?
Am I doing right?
Shackled by bonds
Of dutiful might
Without control
Without light
My bones growing old
And so numb to the cold
I feel
I have lost
All ability
To feel.
Powerless
Without choice
Without a rudder
Drifting into the sea
Of what used to be
Limitless possibilities.
I let the current take me
To depths of the mind unknown
To my self of before
Who am I now
matters not
But who I want to be
Remains a mystery…
Or not.
It’s suddenly so clear, and it came almost effortlessly.
A father J and P can admire
A soul who weathered the icy fire
A man reborn with resolve
Who crawled through the muck and mire.
A hubby for A-
A strong partner of silence
A man without absence
Ears never tired.
This route consists of a few last hurdles
Cut the route
Family time
Good news is
I see the finish line
I don’t want them to hate me
I want to guide them
Be there for them
In good times and bad
But I don’t want to be that guy
Who’s always coming down on them.
I used to be so happy. Naturally. Organically. I still can be. I will not stop, and I will be. One step at a time.
I shiver at your touch
Adrift in a sea
Of distant memory.
It sounds like too much
But I cannot believe
How swiftly I retreat
Like a turtle into its shell
I’m scared of what will become
Of the heart’s evolution
As we revolve around the sun.
As we float on
This shabby raft of destiny
I know how fine we’ll be.
Four bobbing souls of gold
Intertwined at the seams
We’ll find security
Like a turtle into its shell
Aware of what will become
Of the heart’s evolution
As we revolve around the sun.
