Cheerful?

 I feel…

Crippled by life

Am I doing wrong?

Am I doing right?

Shackled by bonds

Of dutiful might

Without control

Without light

My bones growing old 

And so numb to the cold

I feel

I have lost

All ability

To feel.

Powerless

Without choice

Without a rudder

Drifting into the sea

Of what used to be

Limitless possibilities.

I let the current take me 

To depths of the mind unknown

To my self of before

Who am I now 

matters not 

But who I want to be 

Remains a mystery…

Or not.

It’s suddenly so clear, and it came almost effortlessly.

A father J and P can admire

A soul who weathered the icy fire

A man reborn with resolve

Who crawled through the muck and mire.

A hubby for A-

A strong partner of silence 

A man without absence

Ears never tired.

This route consists of a few last hurdles

Cut the route

Family time

Good news is

I see the finish line

I don’t want them to hate me

I want to guide them 

Be there for them

In good times and bad

But I don’t want to be that guy 

Who’s always coming down on them.

I used to be so happy.  Naturally.  Organically.  I still can be. I will not stop, and I will be.  One step at a time.