Anything

 I'm trying to get back into writing...knowing myself, this oughta last a week

2020...ugh

 Seriously though, what the fuck was that?

Silence 2020

What are we doing in this world...how pretentious...

I truly don't understand this world anymore. I thought that I would get oldet and wiser, but I'm confounded each and every day by so and so's newest endeavor in clout-chasing.

When did people become so desperate for likes from strangers? 

The Return

Pete Rock - Smooth Sailing

All told,
I'm gold,
speaking to my people
(Who's there?)
No one cares...about their underwear

(Say what?)
Never mind
Let me tell you what I find
surreal,
unreal
and perhaps a bit unkind.

This world
is nuts
like a drunk
smooching butts
in an alley
behind McNally's
with the boys
in the buff
who have never had enough.

Yo, chill
is the pill,
in my mind,
and I won't let you in.


but I'm back, I'm back,
and ready to attack!
(Right after a doze and a snack...)


Don't worry,
I was wit no one furry.

But I see,
with my gleam,
a world unfamiliar to me.

2019 in review

I know nothing.  I am nothing.

This world is stranger than any wild future I could have ever perceived.

It's all backwards.  Politics globally are out of wack and somehow Nazis are back.  The acceptance of facts and logic is seldomly practiced, and deceit has become the norm because it's rewarded with riches and success.

This is no place for the honest, only the bragadocious.

Escape

I think what I miss most is the freedom.

Chilling wit da boys
Chatting up single women
Wondering what adventures could happen
Realizing the unknown possibilities

Maybe engaging in a difference of individual philosophy, who knows

Shit

At the bare minimum

Dancing
Floating on my back in the swaying waves
Being cradled by a lack of responsibility

A boy's fantasy, really

Fantasy vs reality

Life sets in.

New priorities began in 2017.

Do the best for Jenny.

In 2020, I'll share with her what I love most.

Travel
Diversity
Learning
Photography
Music
The Arts

I realize, in most movies, what I see is an escape for the audience.  Obvi, right?  For example, older characters represent the return of youth and vitality.  Drinking steadily, wantonly, from The Fountain of Youth, will never cease to appeal to the experienced ones with torn hands and creaky backs.

I marvel at the extraordinary power and resilience of youth.  I have such high hopes for Jenny.  Engineer, doctor, entrepreneur, whatever makes her happy and independent.

Man, I just want to make Annie happy.  I'm happy we've communicated about more frequent date nights.  I'll do anything for her. She's my rock, and truly, the reason why I breathe.

Fuck, let me figure out some shit for us to do...I'm excited about

No Sleep 'Til...

Angel - Goldie

I couldn't sleep again last night.  My mind's swimming with bugs of anxiety again.  Am I doing what's right?  Can I do better?  How can I return to what makes me happy?  Why am I always so thirsty, wanting more, needing more, never satiated enough?  When did I become so selfish?

Who is this horizontal man, the one who solely consumes agents of sloth, leering at the paint of time drying on the wall behind the screens?

What is life?

Could the dissolution of The Net be the cure?