Originally written January 7th, 2012 at 11:21 PM in Pohang, South Korea.
"Ajusshi" (아저씨) is the friendly term Koreans use to refer to an older man.
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Drunken ajusshi getting by with a little help from his friendly policeman.All characters portrayed in this image are fictional, yet completely factual. Somewhere in Korea, this scene is unfolding. No ajusshis were hurt filming this... |
120107 “Redface Ajusshi” 23:21
Well, it happened to us during our first year. 230AM. Tuesday. Electronic wailing and banging. He's baaaaaack.
I remember hearing such a ruckus and thinking, "Why doesn't ruckus rhyme with tuckus". Went outside, was assaulted in the face. Soju. Stinky killer. I saw my next-door nemesis, Redface Ajusshi. "Hey Redface, cut it out." I poke him with my froggy foot. Redface ignored me, his own consciousness, and his shoes which he conveniently took off.
I tell my girl, "Baby get the phone...and the camera", but the rationale of a lovely young lady overpowers a fool's potential source of entertainment tenfold. I call the landlord, who was working the night shift. He sends his young wife, strapped with baby on back and hand while packing baby bottle heat. As the only guy and willing spectator to events involving the local police whom aren't looking for me, I call 119, Korea's emergency number.
I didn't know Korean at the time, but I managed to say my apartment building and "waygookin eemneeda. Hangookin Mani soju, balli wa (I'm a foreigner. Korean, lot of soju, hurry)." They NEH and hang up. I go back to Redface.
At this point, Redface is in his soju slumber and thinks he's at a stripper's playground, because he's managed to not only slide down the stairs but also lose his jacket and tie. It was as if there were different levels to drunkenness. At the top flight of stairs were his shoes, a few stairs down his jacket and tie, and finally on the landing, him snoring. This was a man sworn in and seduced by sleep, so what kind of person would I be to wake him?
I sit on the landing and am amazed by the velocity of his snores when the cops come 30 minutes later. They do the whole laugh, saving face "Not all Koreans are drunks" grin and help him up. I go to sleep.
