I drink to forget
About the pain and regret,
A thousand jabs
Before every sunset.
It's hard to believe
That this is my life,
How I tolerate
Shots fired by the wife.
It hurts to proclaim
That it's not a big deal,
To dismiss and ignore
How I truly feel.
"Be a Man," she had said,
As we sought to smash bugs,
Surely it was in jest
As I choke tears back in my chest.
"Be a Man," she had said,
Effortless in breath.
I must have forgot,
Love's grave's a slow death.
The first week is in the books. Digging the office so far. We'll see how long this lasts...
I remember being excited about Yorktown, and look at how that shit show turned out.
I can't believe the doctor is anti-doctor. Every month, I ask her to call the doctor, and every month, she tells me she's gonna wait a few days. I'm gonna keep track of how many times I ask her. I worry because if she's ignoring me now, then I'm in serious trouble when we're elderly.
Why do you have to talk to me like I'm a fucking idiot when you state "there's no cure for the common cold?" Why do you feel the desire to belittle me? When did you lose respect for me as your husband? You said, "please trust that I know what to do with my body," like I'm some misogynist. When did you arrive at this misperception that I'm some neanderthal whom doesn't respect a woman's choice over her body? I adore you, and I believe in equity in a relationship, but it hurts that you see me like I'm some jerk who's catcalling and grabbing asses.
I'm annoyed because you don't listen to me, you don't respect me as your partner, and you insult me when I look out for you.
I need quiet. Stillness. I don't want to take the pills. Maybe the naps are my way of reclaiming my peace.
I understand I have nothing to worry about. But at the same time, I can't help it.
I worry about finding the karate class that takes 3 year olds. I worry about setting Jenny and Phil on the right path. I worry about being the best supportive partner for Annie. I worry about finding tranquility at work. I worry about not worrying myself to death.
I've gotta find an outlet. The bike helps.
I'm feeling pissy again.
Just the one two three punch combo set me off.
"Don't schedule my days off."
"It's too late for a bath."
"I'm looking for solutions, not criticism."
It's infuriating to always be ignored. At work. At home. I sometimes feel like I'm better off by myself. Just to feel like I'm in control of something.
First thing I'm doing after daddy duties is getting this fucking screen and headphone jack fixed. I need to escape and get away from the madness that ensues.
Not a good day, pal
Not a good day at all
At least you didn't cuss those fuckers out
What's the worst that you said?
"You suck, and you suck." Meh. Childish
"This timeclock isn't working, just like you." Funny, but still childish
"Don't be mad at me because you're unhappy in your life and wildly insecure." Ouch. OK, that might be it.
What are they gonna fuck you with tomorrow? Insubordination? Failure to follow instruction? Improper conduct? We'll see.
I feel the same way I did when I was couch-crashing in Philly. Maybe I need to flip out every five years. Perrenial reset.
What'd you expect for calling the cops on your bosses?
Yo,
This morning started strangely. On the way to work, I realized I was screaming at traffic again. Alone. In my car. Irate.
I got to work, and tried tuning out the gossi£p, but I failed. I should know better.
I honestly think getting a motorcycle can help with the commute and my happiness levels overall.
I'm in this office and carrying this long ass route, and everybody here has been brainwashed/conditioned into thinking they have to work like dramatic maniacs just to get the job done.
I take my breaks, drive at a safe speed, but they gossip about me saying I'm conspiring against management. It's not right. Like, they don't even know me, but they adhere to the gossip and have constructed this misperception of me, and they treat me like dogshit based off of this misperception.
They're nuts.
