Once again

 I feel poetic

Drinking wine

Like an aesthetic 

Or is it ascetic 

Numbs the pain

Once again

Found what I

Have been missing

A feeling to the pain 

Numbing it 

to live again 

Oddly enough

Been sober

For three months

All the while

Searching for a feeling

And here it is

Once again

The heaviness that falls

Right behind the eyelids 

Drawing curtains of steel

Unreal, what zeal

I return to the love

Of my life to fight strife.

Red wine

Who’da thunk

This red grape 

breathes new life.

Once again

Can’t explain

But miss it 

I do and do not.

What’s the Reason?

 Mass hypnosis of society, 

blinding all who can see, 

the screens before us, 

rape the eyeballs of the teens, 

I’m so tired, 

of all of the distractions, 

that only blur 

what we perceive, 

what once was real, 

can never be retrieved 

as long as social media runs waywardly, 

with wanton disregard for life and limb, 

it continues into abysmal infinity.

Walls of Silence

 The feel

So sweet

The solitude

So deep

It electrifies my brains 

Sending sound waves through my brains

Through the muck, fear and fire,

Only joy, it shall remain .

Should I embrace it or battle it?

My longest relationship 

Is this love worth fighting for

Or do I  love this fight?

Vanquished all, 

So I have done.

A lover and a fighter?

Within, both have become one.

Medina

 To forget

To numb pain

To forget about the pain 

that’s been numbed once again.

“I’ve been thinking about you,” 

is what I need to hear

From the love of my life 

That I hold so close so dear.

Rough One

 I failed as a parent tonight.

I have to let shit slide for the greater good.

I wasn’t a dad.  I was a bully.

He has a strong will.  I have to be better about persuading him.  I don’t want him to develop Daddy issues.

Is This It?

 Rough patch

"What a match!"

Avoiding me constantly 

Can't shake this, feel like I got a flea

Love my kids

But I hate this home

No control

Constant guilt

Even when I live in filth

Stay and fight

Or turn out the lights

Am I happy

Or faking it

I don't know

When to quit

Nobody listens to me

I can't rely 

And I always hear

"I'm sorry for"

I truly feel

She doesn't care about me

And alone is what she wants to be. 

No presence during coitus

Just the vibe

"Let's get this over with."

I'm always tired

I can't help it

I can't go to her for emotional support 

Forget

 Drink to forget, 

Or forget to drink?

I can’t recall

C’mon, man, think

Which Q came first,

Which Q precedes?

Hold it up, in a cup 

Take a sip and think.

Do I love you

Or do I love pain?

The only strife in life 

Where tears remain

Have one last sip 

And Down I’ll sink

Into my thoughts 

All the battles 

That I’ve fought

Do I need you in my life,

Or am I stronger without

Like time that lingers on

Filled with sorrow and doubt?

Sippin into darkness, 

oh woe, ol boy 

Slow descent

Must repent 

This love runs deep.